For the last 13 years, I’ve been blessed to have a built-in Valentine, my husband. 🥰

But before we met, things in my love life were not always so stable…

In fact, just prior to meeting him, I was involved in a short string of pretty crummy relationships…the likes of which could rival Taylor Swift’s menagerie of old boyfriends, hands down. 😂

Okay, fine — Maaaaaybe that’s a stretch, but you get the picture.

You guys probably know by now that I’m not the type to “kiss and tell”…but in honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d rip a page out of Taylor’s Songbook and do just that. 😉 — I figure if she’s managed to fill up nine albums worth of material on all of her “exes,” surely I’m capable of one blog post. 😂

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If someone asked me for the best advice I’ve ever received about dating, it would have to be this: “Be careful who you date, because every marriage starts with a first date.” — How true is that?!!

But even if you’re selective about who you go on a date with, it doesn’t always guarantee it’s going to be a smooth time…I speak from experience. 😒🤣

I’ve been on first dates with guys who:

– Made fun of our waiter behind his back the whole night🙄😒

– Talked about quantum physics all night 🤯🤓

– Clapped SO LOUD during a concert that I thought my ears were going to bleed👂👏

– Took his shoes off during dinner to show me his webbed feet🦶👟

– Asked me to pick him up and drive…only to find out it was because his license was suspended for DUI 🚗👮‍♂️

And if that wasn’t bad enough…one guy even told me his 5-year-plan included quitting his day job, selling everything he owned, and moving to Jamaica. 😳😳😳🇯🇲🤣

And after that…I gave up on dating altogether.

I know what you’re thinking…”I would, too.” 😂

But to clarify — the reason I gave up on dating altogether was because somehow Jamaica boy convinced me to marry him…🤭😂.

Funny how that happens…🤔.

So, I guess the quote is right, not every first date leads to marriage, but every marriage starts with a first date….🤭🥰🤔😂😂🤣🤷‍♀️.

(ICYMBI, after we got married, we did NOT in fact end up moving to Jamaica. 😂 Somehow I convinced him to stay right here in the good old US of A. But I will say after 11 years of marriage, a mortgage, and a couple of kids…suddenly Jamaica doesn’t sound so crazy after all…😂🤣😉.)

But in all seriousness — no marriage ever goes quite as planned…that’s why at our weddings, we make vows to stick with each other through the ups and downs…for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part, right? It’s an unconditional and even sometimes sacrificial love that keeps marriages together through the good times and the bad.

Maybe that’s why the Bible refers to the church as the bride of Christ — Christ died to save the church in the ultimate act of sacrificial love. And there’s sooooo much we can learn from Him and apply to our own relationships.

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But…….I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Today’s post isn’t about marriage — it’s about dishing on old boyfriends 😏, so let’s get back to that…🤣.

Because just as Christ teaches us how we should love in a marriage…old boyfriends can teach us how NOT to act in a relationship — and ultimately, how NOT to behave in our relationship toward Christ.

Hey, sometimes experience is the best teacher — and you can learn just as much from the bad ones as you do from the good!

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1. The Multitasker:

Back in the day, when people actually used to talk on the phone, I had a long-distance relationship with a guy who would always be doing something else while he was talking to me — folding clothes, washing his car…sitting on the toilet…🙄🙄🚽💩.

And while I can appreciate multitasking as much as the next person…productivity isn’t really the goal when it comes to relationships. And definitely not when it comes to your relationship with God.

God doesn’t want us to be distracted when it comes to serving Him…He wants us to seek Him first! He wants our full commitment.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33

2. Rear-View Romeo:

I once had a boyfriend who constantly made references to his ex-girlfriend in a “nostalgic” way…she was a singer and once he even tried to make me listen to one of her CDs in the car during our date! 🙄🙄🙄 It just always seemed like he was pining for the “good old days” and that I was just never going to live up to the comparison.

Do we ever do this with God? Do we pine for the way our lives were before we had to “give up” our worldly ways? Or are we still trying to dabble in those past sins while still naming the name of Christ!

If we love the Lord with all our heart, we won’t be looking back at our past sins with nostalgia…we will realize that what God has to offer us is far better than any moment of fleeting pleasure here on earth.

“Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’” – Luke 9:62

3. The Double-Dipper:

Once I had a boyfriend that told me to my face that he made plans to spend Saturday night alone with another girl. 😱 His excuse? She had offered to paint a picture for him…When I said I wasn’t comfortable with that, he still refused to break the plans…which painted a pretty clear picture for me — that is not the guy for me.

Sometimes when we serve the Lord, we are going to be required to make tough choices…but our allegiance should always lie with God.

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other…” -Matthew 6:24

4. Gone With the Wind:

One time I had a boyfriend who just disappeared…all the sudden I just stopped hearing from him altogether…I knew he was still alive because I saw him posting things on his Facebook account, so I assumed I was being “ghosted.”

About a month later, he texted me like nothing had even happened. I was so confused…I thought we were over, but it turns out he thought that a month’s lapse in communication with no explanation was perfectly acceptable…bad news is that I legitimately thought we had broken up…so, I had already started dating some one new…whoops, my bad. 🤭

He missed the boat on that one…by the time he finally called me back, that ship had sailed. But pals don’t let that happen with you and God. Seek Him while He may still be found! None of us is promised tomorrow — if you keep putting Him off, you may find yourself missing out altogether. Don’t wait til it’s too late.

“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near;” – Isaiah 55:6

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I look back and laugh about it now, but the truth is that back then, those betrayals really hurt…and it makes me understand why it’s so wrong to treat God that way. He is our Creator and our Redeemer. He deserves better than that.

If we are in a committed relationship with God, we will seek Him first with an undivided heart and never look back. And we are sure to reap the blessings of that…the blessings of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness.

When I finally married my husband, I found unconditional love. When someone loves you unconditionally, you don’t earn it or do anything to deserve it — it shows THEIR character, not yours.

And that’s how God loves us. He loves us not because WE are good, but because HE is good.

With God we will never have to sit and wonder…does He love me…or does He love me not???

…because Jesus Loves Me, this I Know, for the Bible (the most beautiful love letter ever written) tells me so!

Praise God — what more could we ask for!?

Until next time…

-PWAP